Halle Berryyyyyy, Halle Berraaaaay!!!!

Song stuck in my head :P

I am so freakin tired of this attitude going around. I don't understand where people are getting off thinking they're allowed to treat their friends in such a manner. I am freakin over my head with it all. Why in God's name would you treat the people you care for and know care for you most with the least respect and care? Seriously? SERIOUSLY!?!?!? That does not fly. You can take your little petty bitch "friends" and your attitude and shove it elsewhere because I am dooooone trying. It is such a sad, sad thing for people to end up that way. I wish I knew what was the root of the problem but when you act like a dick there's no sense in anyone trying to dig and sort through the mess to try and figure you out. I'd rather eat paint chips. I just hate it right now- so, so much. Please, get your head out of your butt and come back down to planet Earth with the rest of us. We've missed you.

I am so ready for finals to be over. I am at wits end with it all and I could just scream. If I could I would sit down and take every damn test at once but of course things don't work that easily. I'm ready to free myself and to be around the people who make me laugh and smile most. I need that crowd again. It's been almost a week. Ugh! Summer time fun, hurry on home. And summer lovin- find me soon ;)

I need to start working out. This stomach of mine just continues to get less and less attractive. Crunches, here I come!!!!!!! Gonna get my Kiera Knightly on- nice tummy no boobs ahaaaaa. Shit happens. At least I have decent asssssssets. Hahaha yes, I just went there :)

I am not dealing with second place anymore. You hurt my freakin feelings. I was/ am your best friend and you blew me off for someone who has little to no value? What kind of a move is that? Plans made and canceled because you can't say see you later? I get told no all the time- what's the difference? I really hate this, tremendously. I feel so discarded. I am all for telling people do what you do and be friends with whoever you want but I am not cool with if affecting my own friendships. I just don't get it, don't get it at all. Be a friend and make some time, eh? I'm not trying to step on toes but I'm also not looking for tension and anger. I will not swallow that pill.

Hahaha I love horoscopes...

Quickie:
Modesty isn't going to do you any good, so ditch it and step into the spotlight!
Overview:
Your social scene might feel a bit stagnant, but someone new appears to change your mind in a big way. It might turn into a romance, but there's no guarantee and you don't mind either way.

Bahahah been pretty spot on here lately ;)

Should you? Shouldn't you? Your head's pulling you in one direction; your heart in another. You sense the roots of a recurring problem: same issue, different person. But before you write this one off for good, go with your gut rather than your intellect. It will not lead you astray.

I think I should ;)

Fuuuuuuck

Oh man. The things that just came up. WTF!?!?!?!
This is totally a FML moment. Lets see how this plays out. Blaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!

Put yourself in my shoes, careful what you wish for, love.

What's the matter with our ways
I'm missing something, not to blame
But don't you worry, this will pass
It's only cause my mind's been spinning
No control, I've lost my head
All of this is just beginning
Not enough, it's never enough
I'll only want to keep on dreaming

Well hello, superstition :)

Horoscope of the week says: "Your big brain is quite helpful to your romantic aspirations on Monday and Tuesday. It's a great time to make your case and show your sweetie (or potential sweetie) the advantages of taking the next big step with you. The middle of the week is a hard time to try to communicate, especially if you're discussing anything more serious than what to do tomorrow. Expect plenty of beneath-the-radar messages. Your great personal energy flows back this weekend, and you are more than ready for the big changes that are coming your way."

Imma get, get, get it!!!! ;)

We're going down...

"and you can see it."

I miss you more right now than I have in a while. And I want to shoot myself in the forehead for it. Uuuuugh memories dancing around and everything reminding me of once upon a time. Fuck once upon a times....they are no more. You are no more. I need to breathe easy but I can't. Still pass my mind at least once a day and I don't understand. You don't deserve my time. You don't deserve a damn thing from me. What was will never be again. My mind can wrap around that but my heart is a little slack. GET ON WITH IT!!!!!

Ugh :(

Do you want to be my one and only love....

I've been wishing on a star but I could never have imagined
I would land just where you are after all this lonesome traveling
Took one look in your eye, reach out to hold your hand
This is when I realized that I could never understand
Do you want to be my one and only love?
Do you want to be my one and only love?
So you wanna be my friend, so you wanna be my lover
With you I do confess I can't be one without the other
That was hard for me to say, I hope I said it right
Which ever, come what may, you see I need to know tonight
Do you want to be my one and only love?
Do you want to be my one and only love?
Do you want to play these cards, do you want to lay them down?
DO you want to run away or do you want o stick around?
Do you want to be my one and only love?
Do you want to be my one and only love?

Your skin, oh yeah your skin and bones...

"turn into something beautiful"
Three out of seven days I find myself attractive. Today was one of those days and I got to share it with very few. I hope this week goes smooth. I'm ready for this all to blow over. I'm ready to either pack it up or give it all. "For you I'd bleed myself dry". I love Coldplay. One day I will put together a whole love CD for someone with their songs. Cheesy, I know, but I have waited my whole life to give away that CD. One day someone will care for me just as much as I care for them and together we will set the world on fire<3

Caelia and I went a little photo crazy. I didn't realize til I put them on my computer that I was actually taking good pictures. It's such a shitty thing that that boy did to me. The way I view myself now is ridiculous. Looking at these pictures initially I was disgusted with myself. Now I can't choose which I love the most. My eyes are the most amazing things I've ever seen. Sue me for being conceited.

Get on my level, hoe

I am doooone, son.
Brushin' it off and gettin' gone. Holler atcha laterrrrr

Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life.....

So much going through my head. So much push and pull going on currently. It amazes me how much can change over night and within such a short period of time- today becomes yesterday and everything changes and turns me upside down. Mind blowing, really. Today was absolutely amazing. There was so much I wanted to say and do but disregarded the thoughts. I really don't understand it at all. I don't understand me either. I don't know what makes it so hard. I don't know why the decisions that are being made are being made. All I can do is stand back and laugh. How does someone at this point change themselves so easily and so readily? I mean, I get why I do suppose but I've never really been one to care what others think or do. I am not changing myself to fit a world that can't and won't stand on its own two anyways. It just breaks my heart for the reasoning behind it all. I don't like this, I don't like it at all. What I grew to know and what it's all becoming now are two completely different things. Shake it off. Let it all go. Who cares what other people do? You shouldn't break so easily. Be the change you want to see in the world. I don't know what the seed of all this is but I wish I could fix it. I wish it was like then rather than what it is now. I'm sure this is all one big jumble of confusing words but I know what I am talking about. It means something to me. "I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down". I'll show you the end and I'll show you it pays off to be the one decent person out there in the world. Stop conforming. Shake your hands clean of this mess and care again. I miss it. I miss it so much. Summertime is coming and I hope it all unfolds in a positive manner. Not happy right now- not at all. Once upon a time. Oh, once upon a time. Come back please. Set me free. I'm waiting<3